


A Very Serious Discussion

by Deviant_Bug



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Dom Amy Santiago, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta Friendship, Humor, Minor Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, No Angst, Other, Rosa Diaz is a Good Friend, Sub Jake Peralta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22061098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deviant_Bug/pseuds/Deviant_Bug
Summary: The Brooklyn Nine-Nine squad has a serious discussion about what animal Jake resembles the most and would be
Relationships: Charles Boyle & Jake Peralta, Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago, Ray Holt & Jake Peralta, Rosa Diaz & Jake Peralta, Terry Jeffords & Jake Peralta
Comments: 5
Kudos: 241





	A Very Serious Discussion

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is my first Brooklyn Nine-Nine fic so blease be nice :,]
> 
> I thought of this idea and immediately wrote it lmao sorry it's so short

It was Gina who had asked the dreaded question.

She was asking Jake questions from an online quiz she claimed, ‘Would finally settle the burning question on everyone here’s minds; if Jake Peralta was a top or a bottom,’ which sounded idiotic to the rest of the squad who could easily hear their loud speaking, but they would’ve been lying if they said they weren’t curious to see what Jake got.

“Kay Jakey, last question,” Gina scrolled down and read the question out loud:

“‘What mammal would you be based on which one you resemble the most?’” she smirked and read the choices, “A polar bear, a cheetah, a puppy, or a snake?”

“Gina, are you sure that test is reliable? I mean, snakes are reptiles-” Amy looked up and stated, only for Gina to cup her free hand around her mouth and shout, “Nobody cares, point dexter.”

“Polar bear.” Rosa deadpanned, not looking up from the case file she was looking over. Jake smiled and gushed, “Aw, because you think I’m strong, cuddly, and did I mention strong?”

“Because you’re white as fuck.” Rosa replied.

“Oh.”

“But we’re not only going after which one he looks like the most; we’re also looking at which one he acts like the most, and Terry thinks Peralta would be a puppy.” Terry stated, almost like an obvious fact.

“What? I would obviously NOT be a puppy! I’d be, like, a cheetah or something-” Jake stumbled over his words slightly, but still said his sentence with that false Peralta confidence. He looked at Charles to back him up, but he just glanced away.

“Actually, I think I agree with Terry on that,” Boyle stated.

“Oh mai gosh! It does suit you, Jakey!”

“I see it.”

“That does make sense, actually. How did we not see this comparison before?”

Everyone said some sort of agreement with Terry, while Jake desperately tried to convince them he wouldn’t be a puppy (and failing).

“Ooooh my gosh, we have been blinded from the truth for so long! How did we not know we needed puppy Jake in our lives?” Gina dramatically cried out, throwing her hands up for emphasis.

“Nine-Nine, I wouldn’t be a puppy, and I can prove it!” Jake announced loudly, still blushing in embarrassment, “We’ll go ask the cap i’ tan and see for ourselves!” he smirked boldly, marching over to captain Holt’s office and knocking on the door. He marched inside and left the door open after Holt said, “Come in.”, and the rest of the Nine-Nine (minus Gina who was just watching the drama play out and Hitchcock and Scully because they were asleep) ran over to the door and listened quietly, excited to hear their captan’s answer.

“Heeeey, Cap!” Jake greeted Holt, per usual Peralta style. Holt looked up from his paperwork and glanced at Jake, “What is it that you need now, Peralta?”

“Wwwwweeeal,” Jake dragged out, pronouncing ‘well’ wrong per Peralta style, “Gina’s having me take a really important quiz and you need to answer this honestly,” he grinned at Holt.

Holt sighed, deciding to play Jake’s game for today, and said, “Continue.”

“Do you, Captain Raymond Holt, think that I, Jake Peralta...looklikeapuppy?” Jake rushed the last part out, but Ray still understood what he asked.

Ray’s short and deadpan response was a straight forward, “Yes.”

And that one little word was all it took.

“TERRY CALLED IT!”

“Guess we know what to make him dress up as next Halloween.”

“Sorry, buddy-”

“IN YOUR FACE, JAKE!”

Over all the shouting, Gina silenced everyone by yelling, “YOU’RE A BOTTOM, BY THE WAY.”

“SON OF A-”

The Nine-Nine was never going to let Jake live either of those things down.


End file.
